Voices are powerful.
Collectively, they move mountains. Singularly, they can spark change, big and small. Sometimes, however, voices are silenced.
I’m here to remind you, they carry.
Voices Carry: Living with Unaddressed Childhood Sexual Trauma
This is a true story. The names and places have been fictionalized to protect the guilty. It is unflinching in its honesty, and Randi does not hold back. This book is a deep dive into the effects of unaddressed childhood sexual trauma, and how that dramatically enveloped every facet of Carry’s life. At 14 years old, Carry crawls home one summer evening raped, bloody, and beaten. She opens up the door gasping for breath, begging her mother to help her. Instead of calling the police, Carry’s mother calls her Uncle Richard, who carries her to the upstairs bathroom, undresses her, and assaults her yet again in a frigid bathtub while she was fully aware but catatonic.
She was never allowed to talk about it. It remained a family secret.
The trauma of these experiences wraps its tentacles around every aspect of Carry’s life, forever changing the existence she once knew. Eventually these traumas lead her to a life of alcohol and drugs, sex work, self-loathing, and abusive relationships. Carry stumbles her way through each day, making one horrific decision after another, hell bent on self destruction.
Then, miracles happen. Carry tackles her addiction by entering a program and attends daily meetings to maintain her sobriety, and finds her life changing in ways she never imagined. She works hard, and finds success in a new career, becoming independent and self supporting. Most importantly, Carry meets a man who loves her not despite her past, but because she overcame it. Carry finds out for the first time ever what true unconditional love really is, and after building a strong foundation together, she marries the man she once only dreamed of having. She is truly happy, and never imagined her life could be so good. So normal.
Years go by, but the unaddressed traumas, which Carry refuses to acknowledge, lead to a psychotic break. Ignoring the pain of her previous life catches up with her, culminating in auditory hallucinations that vocalize her most damaging beliefs and make her lose her grip on reality. The voices become so overpowering that Carry enters a psychiatric hospital for a 30 day stay where she uncovers the brutal truths about the wreckage of her past. Carry learns that she’s not schizophrenic as she feared, but the voices are rooted in PTSD.
Is she worthy? Can she ever heal? Can she go from being a victim to a survivor, or will she succumb to her mental illness?
Amazon Editorial Review
“Voices Carry: Living with Childhood Sexual Trauma” is a poignant and powerful exploration of the long-lasting effects of childhood sexual abuse. The author skillfully weaves personal narratives with insightful commentary, offering a raw and honest portrayal of the struggles faced by survivors. The book’s strength lies in its ability to amplify the voices of those often silenced, providing a sense of community and understanding for readers. It is both a heartbreaking and hopeful read, encouraging healing and resilience. This book is a vital resource for survivors and those seeking to understand the complexities of trauma, making it a must-read for anyone interested in mental health and recovery.”
I’m Randi Radin Kalman, author, speaker and passionate advocate for political activism and legislative change for sexual assault victims.
I was once one of those statistics. At the age of fourteen, I was raped—once by a stranger and once by someone close to me. In my book, Voices Carry, I fictionalize the trauma and mental health obstacles that I had to overcome on my quest to open the boxes of my past.
I work with an organization called RAINN as an advocate and activist for those who have been sexually abused, and are dealing with unreported rape. In my role as a member of their speakers bureau, I lobby for the rights of victims and survivors and have met with Senators and Representatives on Capitol Hill, urging them to pass bills that would benefit our community, such as the recent Debbie Smith Bill, the Take It Down Act, and the No Time Limit Bill (to lift the statutes for reporting sexual assault on a federal level)”
My heart goes out to the marginalized women and men who find themselves objectified, dehumanized, and misrepresented in Western society: the traumatized daughter, the sexual abuse survivor, the addict, the sex worker, and the women working through recovery. I hope my story becomes an anthem of hope for the voiceless—encouraging her readers to reclaim their identity, take back their stories, and share them with the world.
Every 68 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted. Every 9 minutes, that victim is a child. Meanwhile, only 25 out of every 1,000 perpetrators will end up in prison. (https://www.rainn.org/statistics)
Using My Voice
Contact Randi with requests for interviews, speaking engagements, or general inquiries.
Finding My Voice
I sat down the summer of 2022 to process the pain of my past. What came from it was a novel, Voices Carry, which I hope will prod survivors toward their day of reckoning.
Share Your Story
Every story matters, including yours. And, change only happens when we bring our stories to the light and don’t leave them hidden in the dark. We’d love to hear yours. Share your story with us anonymously and inspire others in the process. We will share it on our blog so that others can find solace, connection and strength in shared experiences.
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